A month or so ago I liked a boy in my class, let's call him trout (I wish you could see his lips.) So everything with this guy was really cool. Like, we talked, we flirted and stuff, he even called me sweetie once, in front of my ex crush, (who is actually gay, I love my life) So, one day, I decided it was a nice moment to say to him that I had a REALLY big crush on him. I wrote him a letter, and, when he read it, he didn't say ANYTHING, LIKE I HADN'T PUT MY FEELINGS IN A PIECE OF PAPER. Yeah, he's a jerk. The only funny thing is that next day I was gonna see 5sos in concert and omg, I felt free, like I didn't have a crush, I didn't have problems. Fun, right? No. Because that friday I had a bday party (my excrush was the bday boy) and I had a really good time. But, when it was late, we started playing spin the bottle, and, it was nothing, but I had to kiss the hottest guy at the party, who was also super nice. Turned out to be my sister's friend's brother (awkard). I told my sister and she said that it wasn't my first kiss because neither of us felt anything for each other. My beautiful older sister, I love her. I also told my friends about this and they kind of freaked out. But then I told them who he was (let's call him the boy in the skinny jeans), and they said he was gay, at least in elementary school. Bravo, Emma. So, I was again free.
The sadness came when my friend told me her best friend (let's call her Madrid stuff) was dating trout. Ouch. I saw a pic of them together, and it broke my heart. But now I'm okay with it, I passed it.
Let's talk about the happy things: I saw 5sos I saw the vamps, Belgium ended 4th in eurovision and I'm gonna see demi lovato in october. THANKS DAD. (My real dad lol)
I'm gonna say this, even though I'm ashamed of it. I surely think I have a daddy kink (now the comment above make more sense). It freaks me out, like, Emma, you're fucking 15 (actually 14 but wtv.) I have an adult mind and I'm really ashamed of it. I'm scared to tell my friends, because they'll judge me, I'm not a normal teenage girl.
Like, for example: Calum's snapchat. There are two reactions: 88% of the teenage population: Ew! 12%: Hey, Calum. I'm on that 12%. Like, I feel my hormones are now as If I was 17. Really, It's all Sonja's fault (She's a girl from twitter @MYKINGISMICHAEL check that out If your eyes are not pure.) Like, one year ago, I couldn't imagine myself liking one boy appart from my famous crushes, and now I can see myself BANGING them (only my famous crushes, don't). I'm so ashamed of all the things tumblr is doing to me, I'm not the innocent kawaii girl I was last year (lol, that's so bad, sounds like the start of a porn movie, which I have not seen, promised.)
-Kisses, Emma.
P.S.: I had or have (not sure) an eating disorder (I'm much better now) AND I'M GOING TO IRELAND THIS SUMMER OMG SO EXCITED.
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