10th June

I'M HANDELING EXAMS IDK HOW. Anyway, I don't have much to say just... I had a 9.9 in chemistry yey. Tomorrow I have a literature test but ugh so rad. My pool opens this weekend yey so super duper cool. On monday it's my sister's graduation and prom and I'm gonna do her make up and her and she's gonna be sooooo cute. I ship her with her friend.
Today I dressed up as a whore, idk why, I felt like it. I was wearing a crop top and really short shorts. I could feel how people looked at me and I was like, chill. Today I saw my junior crush like, a lot of times, like twice, which is a lot to me. Normally I don't see him or I see him once. Wrong, I saw him three times. He's soooo damn cute, and what's funny, is that, despite being blonde, he has black hair on his legs (Is it weird or am I because I point out this?). He's so cute with his braces and his short hair, ugh, so cute.
DID YOU KNEW THAT MANS (idk how to put the º above the A) THE WINNER OF EUROVISION IS LIKE, TOTALLY HOMOPHOBIC? Why would you even go to eurovision If you were homophobic? It's the gayest show on european tv. I'm even doubting about Loïc's sexuality for going there. If you now a boy, and he like, loves eurovision, he's gay. I'm stating. HE'S GAY. He only won because he was hot, Loïc did better, duh.
I'd like to give a shout out to my new returning home mate, (I would have called her Dora, but that's cruel. Let's call her Latin bootie) I'm realising she's really cool, so she doesn't have to care about what other people are saying, duh.
Also, 14 for ireland, so excited, aren't you excited for me?
-Kisses, Emma
P.S.: I'll miss my language assistant, he should be my chambelán, (I'm spanish, not latin, but I wanna do a quinceañera because I want to wear a dress)
The song I'm obsessed with today

9th June

I'm sorry I haven't been written for like, ages, but, you know exams, once upon a time. That awkard moment when you think you're falling in love with peter pan... Anyway... I've argued with one of my friends´and now I don't even talk to her, but wtv. I'm so stressed with exams, like, you don't even know. (You'll probably know because now everyone has the same issues). I have a technology assigment and I don't know how I'm gonna do it. I just wish this week passes and summer really comes. Even though I'm going to Ireland when there's not summer... Anyway, I lost class today yey. Only english class but wtv. I went to the small building to meet with 8th graders (aka losers) and to explain what was global classrooms about. It is about debating with other candidates about any like, super formal topic (I got IMF) and act as If you were in the united nations. The prize was going to new york. We passed to the second round and then the school had to choose one out of ten. They chose Blanca, the girl that always wins in every contest. It hurt so bad I injured myself. At school. It was funny. I'm getting over an eating disorder and depression (tbh I feel so much better right now, happy) and that was my dark age. I was handeling food, but not sadness. I have some pretty big scars in my arms and legs, I'll have to live with them, and not be ashamed, because they represent that I survived to a depression, and that's what I'm proud of. I remembered by biology teacher running through the school with me by his side, screaming, kind of funny, but not fun. It hurt. I don't remember much, I was in the bathroom, I called the teacher and, when he came in I was there, like, "hey, I could use some help."
Anyway, I once made a promise about not crushing on any younger boy than me. I have broken that promise. Today. There was a 13 or 14 hottie like, super hot. He was just there, and I was like: "wait, you're 8th grader, that's impossible, you're better than the 9th graders. And some of his friends were cute too, soooo....
I missed the swimming pool, and the boys that kind of flirted with us, idk. One even wanted to make out with me. I said no. Duh. I would have said yes to his friend, he was so cute. Like, he wears glasses, he's pale and has like this adorable smile. Like, he doesn't have the perfect body, but I love it, because that's what makes him more adorable.
In conclusion I like a lot of boys.
-Kisses, Emma
P.S.: My language assistant read "I really wanna have sex with michael clifford" in my pencil case, and I feel so ashamed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PIgyR4uSwYk

3rd June

Tomorrow I don't have school so I'm happy yey.
Today was my spanish and flute exams. I started they day forgetting my flute at home. Applause. So I had to go running back to my house and then to school. I arrived like one minute later, but I had drama, so the teacher didn't even bothered about it. Cool.
Nobody made fun of me, I just had fun and laughed a lot.
Now, I'm writing and listening to music yey. I'll have to do maths but wtv, let's just enjoy the moment. I mean, I have a lot of exams next week, but yolo. Some of my friends may hate me but yolo. I have some other good friends and a body that some boys that make fun of me wish they had in their beds. I'm starting loving myself, and it feels awesome. I'm fucking awesome. Idk why boys don't like me, like, I'm kinda pretty and sexy. I know I'm weird, but boys my age don't care about personalities. Whatever, I'll find a hottie that loves my crazyness. Truly, I've found him, but I think he's gay. I wish I knew a boy like my best friend's boyfriend, super kind,sweet, hot, GERMAN (that's important), and straight, I should say ex, but I'm pretty sure they're getting back together today. (I'm so excited for her.) My best friend is super hot too, but, I mean, I think boys my age don't like the extremes. For some boys I could be too tall or too skinny and my best friend could be too short or they could see her fat (she's not, I wish I was her.) I know, It's funny to see us together. I'm gonna stop now, and confess something. Can you believe that I thought I was a lesbian at the start of this school year? IDK. Like, my most searched in tumblr is hot guys, I love boys. But there was this girl, and I loved her. I didn't know If it was real or just a friend love. Just because we were very good friends, I enjoyed being with her and couldn't imagine a future with her by my side. I didn't even feel sexually attracted to her. Now I realized I can't stop searching for hotties wherever I go, and no girls. When I see a hot boy is like: "That guy's hot" but when I see a pretty girl (I'm sorry I can't even say a girl is hot) I'm like: "I'm sure she's a bitch".
-Kisses, Emma.
P.S.: Sorry for that unexpected ending lol, I didn't feel like writing more.
The song I'm obsessed with today

2nd June

So, this one is gonna be shorter, I have to practice fucking flute, like, why do I have to study music? I want to be either an actress or working in a laboratory (in the worst case scenario, in a classroom being a hot chemistry teacher okno.)
So, today nothing really happenned. I just studied a lot, laughed a lot in class and slayed at grades. 9 in music, 8.22 in english (should be more.)
Today I was walking outside in the break and some stupid ass sophomore kids that should be in 11th ir 12th grade just called me 'teacher'. Like, I didn't do anything, I just walked next to their group and I heard this. I was wearing a long green dress, nothing special, and a bun, like, is that a teacher's look? Because I don't think so... Anyway, at my school, boys and girls are stupid. There's this group of super normal girls that don't stop looking at me and my friends. Normal. My group of friends basically sums up in: The russian preppy girl, the short curvy purple haired, the curly haired that doesn't stop talking about boys, the kind of black super smart kid, the girl with mustache that somehow drives boys crazy and a super curly sometimes pink haired, tall, skinny, crazy and with a super "I'm not from this town" style, I think the russian and black girls are the more normal ones. I wear sometimes a gurnge look, or a punk rock one, or a beuty guru one or a look that shouts outloud "I'm a good girl, I'm daddy's favourite (I have a really big daddy kink, please, I'll be your little girl)." Yeah. I mean somedays I'm like: "I need no men I'm and independet woman." Other days like: "I'm the dom, lay down in the floor." And these last days I've been like: "Please, be my daddy, I can't live without a man." Well, I'm gonna leave now.
-Kisses, Emma
P.S.: I hate exams' season, please, summer, come to me.
The song I'm obsessed with today

1st June 2015

My first entry in this blog, I'm kinda nervous. So... I guess now is when I give you a little summary of what's going on in my mess, aka my life:

A month or so ago I liked a boy in my class, let's call him trout (I wish you could see his lips.) So everything with this guy was really cool. Like, we talked, we flirted and stuff, he even called me sweetie once, in front of my ex crush, (who is actually gay, I love my life) So, one day, I decided it was a nice moment to say to him that I had a REALLY big crush on him. I wrote him a letter, and, when he read it, he didn't say ANYTHING, LIKE I HADN'T PUT MY FEELINGS IN A PIECE OF PAPER. Yeah, he's a jerk. The only funny thing is that next day I was gonna see 5sos in concert and omg, I felt free, like I didn't have a crush, I didn't have problems. Fun, right? No. Because that friday I had a bday party (my excrush was the bday boy) and I had a really good time. But, when it was late, we started playing spin the bottle, and, it was nothing, but I had to kiss the hottest guy at the party, who was also super nice. Turned out to be my sister's friend's brother (awkard). I told my sister and she said that it wasn't my first kiss because neither of us felt anything for each other. My beautiful older sister, I love her. I also told my friends about this and they kind of freaked out. But then I told them who he was (let's call him the boy in the skinny jeans), and they said he was gay, at least in elementary school. Bravo, Emma. So, I was again free. 

The sadness came when my friend told me her best friend (let's call her Madrid stuff) was dating trout. Ouch. I saw a pic of them together, and it broke my heart. But now I'm okay with it, I passed it.

Let's talk about the happy things: I saw 5sos I saw the vamps, Belgium ended 4th in eurovision and I'm gonna see demi lovato in october. THANKS DAD. (My real dad lol)

I'm gonna say this, even though I'm ashamed of it. I surely think I have a daddy kink (now the comment above make more sense). It freaks me out, like, Emma, you're fucking 15 (actually 14 but wtv.) I have an adult mind and I'm really ashamed of it. I'm scared to tell my friends, because they'll judge me, I'm not a normal teenage girl.

Like, for example: Calum's snapchat. There are two reactions: 88% of the teenage population: Ew! 12%: Hey, Calum. I'm on that 12%. Like, I feel my hormones are now as If I was 17. Really, It's all Sonja's fault (She's a girl from twitter @MYKINGISMICHAEL check that out If your eyes are not pure.) Like, one year ago, I couldn't imagine myself liking one boy appart from my famous crushes, and now I can see myself BANGING them  (only my famous crushes, don't). I'm so ashamed of all the things tumblr is doing to me, I'm not the innocent kawaii girl I was last year (lol, that's so bad, sounds like the start of a porn movie, which I have not seen, promised.)

-Kisses, Emma.

P.S.: I had or have (not sure) an eating disorder (I'm much better now) AND I'M GOING TO IRELAND THIS SUMMER OMG SO EXCITED.

The song I'm obsessed with today: