28th July

SOOOOOOO today I'm sad. The day started pretty good, I woke up 12:39, LIKE WHAT!! And I didn't do anything but lay down and listen to the weeknd (pretty obssesed with him rn) and chill. I feel much adult now, like, my hormones are normal and now I feel like the whole daddy trend is toooootally weird. Like, I can't help but switch on my dirty mind when I hear the word daddy, but I feel disgusted. I like the whole, pinky childish style, but not the things they do, it's too sexist. Have you heard the song hey mama? (sure, you have) That's a sexist af song, and I don't like the lyrics but the rythm is cool sooo.
I went to the phycologist and I'm free of it till september yey! I went to the pool, talked to the American boy buuuut... He didn't reply, idk why adn I'm pretty upset about it. Like, I don't wanna be annoying, so I won't talk to him until he talks, but I got that kind of feeling he won't sooooo I might loose connection with him, which sucks. Like, he's cute and handsome and nice and a lovely human, but I hate him rn. Idk what he's doing, but I really wanna talk to him. Not like, 24/7 pls, but I wanna know that he'll talk again to me. HE'S THE ONLY EXCUSE FOR ME TO GO TO BOSTON OK. Not really, my parents would never let me, but I felt like he's the only boy that has ever had an interest in me. Like, for the most boys I'm just the crazy little piece of shit that would be hot If it wasn't for her face and hair and I felt that he kinda like me. That makes me sad. Maybe he learnt that I was too crazy for him or maybe he doesn't want to talk to a girl so obssesed with boys or that has been in serious issues and might go back to them If he hurts me... Idk, or maybe he's just hanging with his friends, and he'll just talk to me another  day. I hope is the last one... Like, since I came here to spain and talked more to him, I'v never, NEVER, checked out on other guys on the street.. NEVER, which is weird for me. He's aaaall the time in my head, and it's really annoying... Even the word lol reminds me of him, I CAN'T.
Now I'm talking to a girl from my group (let's call her super curls) and she's being really nice to me, I love her. SHOUTOUT TO HER, AMAZING PERSON RIGHT THERE.
-Kisses, Emma.
P.S.: My doctor told me she sees me perfectly, so I guess they'll set me free soon, YEY. Depression defeated 89%
The song I'm obssesed with today